Yup.. .another one of those famous dating stories and yet another from those freakish 4 year dating period in the mid 2000's.
Jamie (again... name changed to protect the "not-so-innocent"). I used to like to call her the 4'11" Italian Fireball. Short, cute, fun, flirtatous and full of temper.
Jamie and I met online and went through a few years of strange on and off again bizarreness.
One Sunday, I was talking to her and said that I needed to get some laundry done very badly. Not having my own washer and dryer and I usually take my down for a few hours at local laundromat, Jamie says "just bring it over her. You can use my washer and dryer and we can hang out for the day". I decided to keep it simple and just bring my green garbage bag full of darks and worry about the rest later.
We had a great day and I put my stuff in the wash and completely forgot about it until I went to leave so I put it in the dryer and Julie agreed to bring it over the next day. Awesome.
The next day when I got home from work, Julie had already been to my house and dropped off the bag of dark laundry. I emptied the bag and started putting stuff away, but wow..... I had one extra piece of laundry come back.... a pair of black panties. I laughed out loud and smiled as I loved how Jamie could be so flirtatous and I loved that about her.
Off the phone I went with a big grin and called her up. Being sly and trying to be flirtatous back, we talked and I said that I thought it was very cute how she put her panties in there.
"Its not mine", she said. My jaw dropped and I went from warm, fuzzy and big smile to confused and shocked in a micro-second.
"Huh?", I said. "And... I want to know who's they are (getting angerier by the second and enjoying her little trap that she had sprung).
Wow... did that ever bring out the Italian fire in her. BOOM!!!! I got blasted clear across town as I tried to defend and figure out what had happened all at once. She was super pissed!!!!! and we didn't talk for months. Certainly not the first nor the last time we blasted at each other, wrote each other off only slowly start talking again month later.
I will never really know how that happened but I have a hunch... .a weak one, but its the only theory I ever came up with. I always used the same green garbage bags when I went to the laundromat. A couple times over years, I would gain one or two articles of clothing in those bags but usually I noticed it when I emptied them out right away versus them waiting for the next laundry load. Could I really have been that unlucky to have gained a pair of panties in the previous load? Well.. unlikely, but certainly possible.
I know for an absolute fact that they were not from some other "tryst" with some other girl as I really wasn't dating much those days. LOL.. honest!!!!!
Nothing like mixing a pair of unclaimed black panties with a 4'11" Italian Fireball. LOL.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Yet Another Dating Story
Well.... I am on a roll tonight so out come even more stories.
Michelle.... nice girl, but oh my!!!! I went through a stretch about 6 years ago of dating online with nothing but strangeness happening. Three weeks was the magic number. By the end of three weeks, something would go wrong, strange, bizarre, something.. .and Michelle was no different.
Met online and hit it off immediately. Turns out we even had a strong connection in the fact that while we were now both living in Calgary, we went to high school with each other in Saskatoon (more than a few years back and she was one grade up from me. I did not know her then).
Like the rest, those first three weeks were just awesome and life was good.
Then came Friday night. Michelle says "Come on over, it will be you, me, my friend 'Teresa' (name changed to protect.. well... the not-so-innocent) and her fiance 'Fred'". We will drink some homemade wine, watch some movies and relax". Sounds great :)
Late in the evening, suddenly Teresa puts a strawberry in her mouth, walks over to Michelle and gives Michelle a great big kiss and they share the strawberry.
Well.... I was completely shell shocked.
I looked over at Fred who had a silly assed, devilish grin and if to say "ya!!!!!! rock on".
I didn't know what to think and was completely stunned. I backed away to the kitchen and tried to gather my thoughts. Michelle, noticing that I was completely agast, comes up to me and says "This isn't how I wanted to tell you but I am bi-sexual. Teresa is my girlfriend of 6 months and I want you as my boyfriend and I want you both".
All I could think of is "Why can't I met a nice, quiet Saskatchewan girl", but "oh no... I find a bi-sexual who likes to share".
You know.. I have told this story to lots of folks over the years and its funny to say that I can THIS close to every man's fantasy and walked away.
Its damn funny in hind site, and funnier yet is that most people ask two questions.
1) Did you continue dating her? A solid, consistant "no" is my answer
2) Did you.... well... play? The answer depends on if you are male or female and is either "NO WAY!" or "Well... not that day anyways. LOL" (just kidding).
Michelle.... nice girl, but oh my!!!! I went through a stretch about 6 years ago of dating online with nothing but strangeness happening. Three weeks was the magic number. By the end of three weeks, something would go wrong, strange, bizarre, something.. .and Michelle was no different.
Met online and hit it off immediately. Turns out we even had a strong connection in the fact that while we were now both living in Calgary, we went to high school with each other in Saskatoon (more than a few years back and she was one grade up from me. I did not know her then).
Like the rest, those first three weeks were just awesome and life was good.
Then came Friday night. Michelle says "Come on over, it will be you, me, my friend 'Teresa' (name changed to protect.. well... the not-so-innocent) and her fiance 'Fred'". We will drink some homemade wine, watch some movies and relax". Sounds great :)
Late in the evening, suddenly Teresa puts a strawberry in her mouth, walks over to Michelle and gives Michelle a great big kiss and they share the strawberry.
Well.... I was completely shell shocked.
I looked over at Fred who had a silly assed, devilish grin and if to say "ya!!!!!! rock on".
I didn't know what to think and was completely stunned. I backed away to the kitchen and tried to gather my thoughts. Michelle, noticing that I was completely agast, comes up to me and says "This isn't how I wanted to tell you but I am bi-sexual. Teresa is my girlfriend of 6 months and I want you as my boyfriend and I want you both".
All I could think of is "Why can't I met a nice, quiet Saskatchewan girl", but "oh no... I find a bi-sexual who likes to share".
You know.. I have told this story to lots of folks over the years and its funny to say that I can THIS close to every man's fantasy and walked away.
Its damn funny in hind site, and funnier yet is that most people ask two questions.
1) Did you continue dating her? A solid, consistant "no" is my answer
2) Did you.... well... play? The answer depends on if you are male or female and is either "NO WAY!" or "Well... not that day anyways. LOL" (just kidding).
Dating and Farting don't mix
Well... I know I have a ton of stories that I promised and haven't got around to them and they are all pretty damn funny. My most recent addition to this list is from just this past summer (2010).
I was sort of dating a girl on/off and we decided to go out camping. She is a nice girl but has proven that she has a bit of an anger management issue. Well.... Saturday started out alright but it was clear that she was not in a good mood so I was careful on what I said and did.
Saturday night in the middle of the night it started to go all sideways. You know how when you suddenly are woken up, that you need a few seconds to get oriented and sometimes you ask a few questions? Well... I suddenly was poked and it woke me up so I immediately started saying "huh?", "What happened?, "is everything alright?",etc. Only to get blasted by this girl very angrly saying "Oh My God!!!!! You don't need to barriage me with questions! I only want you to roll over as you were snoring too much".
Well... ok. no biggie... I rolled over and went back to sleep.
Thats when I made the biggest dating mistake ever. Falling asleep very quickly, I farted in the tent. BOOM!!!!! She exploded! "Its a small tent! How dare you fart!... blah, blah, blah". I immediately woke up again not knowing what had happened to the verbal tirade of anger and tongue lashing and it didn't take long to figure out my critical mistake. It pissed her off so much that she left the tent and was yelling. gulp!!!!
Well... guess I had better learn how to choose when to fart in my sleep. LOL.
I was sort of dating a girl on/off and we decided to go out camping. She is a nice girl but has proven that she has a bit of an anger management issue. Well.... Saturday started out alright but it was clear that she was not in a good mood so I was careful on what I said and did.
Saturday night in the middle of the night it started to go all sideways. You know how when you suddenly are woken up, that you need a few seconds to get oriented and sometimes you ask a few questions? Well... I suddenly was poked and it woke me up so I immediately started saying "huh?", "What happened?, "is everything alright?",etc. Only to get blasted by this girl very angrly saying "Oh My God!!!!! You don't need to barriage me with questions! I only want you to roll over as you were snoring too much".
Well... ok. no biggie... I rolled over and went back to sleep.
Thats when I made the biggest dating mistake ever. Falling asleep very quickly, I farted in the tent. BOOM!!!!! She exploded! "Its a small tent! How dare you fart!... blah, blah, blah". I immediately woke up again not knowing what had happened to the verbal tirade of anger and tongue lashing and it didn't take long to figure out my critical mistake. It pissed her off so much that she left the tent and was yelling. gulp!!!!
Well... guess I had better learn how to choose when to fart in my sleep. LOL.
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